Said I Loved You (But I Lied)

Ok. I may have lied on my last post.

I have a lot going on both personally and professionally.

Personally, I am single again. That went down in September of 2012. I am so relieved that I can hardly stand it. Finally I am free to live my life without being legally responsible for my now ex-husband. My iMac died on me and I lost a lot of pics and my artist stuff. Until I get the Macbook Pro I so desperately want, I now have a temporary setup with a Windows XP Pro. For a Mac girl through and through this is torture because I cannot find anything or do anything that I really want to do. So it's off to save some money as I can never seem to get approval for Best Buy to finance me. And I think my ex has something to do with it. Grrrr....

Also took a well-deserved vacation to Knoxville TN to visit my best friend and have time with a guy I met through Facebook. It was an enjoyable time for me. I look forward to going back there soon after I have product to sell and play some shows.

Which brings me to...

Professionally, things are going to get pretty busy for my brand. I have been working on retooling my brand and getting the full-length project underway. Have photo shoots and more recording to do. I am removing the girl next door image for something foxier, edgier and sexier. I suppose an almost 30 pound weight loss can do that for a woman coming into her own. I cannot wait for you all to see this unfold. Have my entire project written and waiting to record. I am also in talks with a new producer who is slated to come on board during this project. I believe things are going to be looking up for my brand.

Just a few things that are happening in my life both personally and professionally.

Yes, yes!

I'm Back!

I decided to resurrect my blog after over a year being gone. I felt it was time to write more about things going on and such. I won't write much this time, but look for more stuff in the future. Just posting once more to get it going again.

Lots to write about. Just not lots of time at the moment!

Time Has Flown!

I do apologize for not writing any blogs lately.

Lots of things have happened. 

I have a 5 song EP coming out that I have worked hard on, but my producer even harder. It is a true labor of love right now as neither one of us has seen a penny. Please buy the music.

The other is that I have decided to leave the man I was married to for almost 10 years. It was a source of stress for me. Without going into detail, things were on life support for so long that it was time to pll the plug. I go into some of the details in a song on the EP called "Overtime". We are separated right now and as soon as we can muster the funds, the court system will surely know of our intentions. Turst me, I will have plenty to write about in musical form.

I might go on tour sometime next year with the rest of the Soundwire family. They have been nothing but a source of love and support for me and I hope one day to return that favor. Those guys have been more faithful to me the short time we have been a family than the man I married. I am so glad to count them as blessings in my life. Nelson, Chaiz, Jaron, Jordan and Troy (alongside wives and children and Vanessa and Jamie and Christy), I love each and every one of you and appreciate each one of your contributions to my life and art!

The holidays are fast approaching. I hope to finally let my family in on my music. Right now, this has been a secret life of sorts. It will be nice to let the cat out when they get their CD under the Christmas tree.

Back to the tour. I am going to begin working out with the Wii so I can be in good shape. The rigors of the road are not for the weak-hearted or weak-bodied, so it's off to the fitness routine for me!

I was watching on VH1 Classic a special called "Metal Evolution". What a lesson I am getting. I only watched the first hour, but it was chock full of education for me about what is known as heavy metal music. I highly recommend watching it, even to non-metal people (of which I am not a member...metal chick I am)!

This has been a random rambling. I will be more focused next time.

Toodles!

July 4 and Other Stuff

I am feeling super grateful for the 235th birthday of out great nation. We look good for our age. My only hope is that we don't start losing our looks. I feel as if day by day the freedoms our Founding Fathers and our military gave their lives, fortunes and sacred honor for are being taken one by one. I don't like that. I want a nation in which I can work hard and have success. It's why I have begun a new job (on top of the bill-paying one), which is recording my music for the masses. And make a decent living at it. My producer has the American entrepreneur spirit by starting Soundwire Records and is trusting me enough to be a partner in this entrepreneurship. And my fellow musicians and producer hope we can finally stop doing what we have to do and actually do what we love to do. I hope to not let the Founders down on this July 4, Independence Day.

This journey I am about to take in making my debut album is an exciting yet scary thing for me. It is exciting in that I am finally going to be using the voice God gave me in the way I have dreamed my whole life in doing. But it also scares me to the core. I am in a process of recovery in my life brought by a life crisis. It's been God's alarm clock if you will to get my life in order. I explore my life, relationships, beliefs and wounds and, with God's help and some friends I have made, try to heal them and grow as a result. I have realized that I have had a lot of stress in my life. And it has found itself wrapping around my voice. So for a while I just stopped singing. Maybe I could eke out a radio singalong or maybe a shower show tune, but mainly I just stopped singing.

So when my producer contacted me out of the blue and asked whether or not I would be on Soundwire, it threw me for a loop. Here I am, someone who hasn't publicly sang in years, and I froze in my spirit. Who would want to hear my voice? Who would care to hear it? And, like a lot of people in my life have intimated, would it even matter? And it hit me. Multiple people in my life had taken it upon themselves to take a knife to my throat and wound my voice. And I just didn't realize this until the Soundwire proposition came to me. Another source of this awakening came when I was watching "Why Not? With Shania Twain" on OWN. A similar thing happened to her. And she worked to find her voice again. Shania has inspired me to find my voice again. And this Soundwire thing is just the place to do it. I am surrounded by people who have known me for a long time and who I can trust with my heart. God has certainly brought this opportunity into my life for such a time as this. I think if this happened anytime sooner I would have different results.

So here I am, putting myself into God's amazing will, not knowing the results yet, but am going to begin another leg of my recovery journey bit by bit. I know you may be asking what this has to do with anything. I say this to you: In order to know the music as the art, you must go behind the scenes of the heart. The music is the tip of the iceberg.

So buckle your seat belts, audience. This will be a ride you won't soon forget!

Testing...1, 2, 3!

This is only a test. Had this been an actual blog entry I would have said a lot more. Once again, this is only a test.